Monday, August 17, 2009

Socks Or No Socks

This post must be prefaced with a disclaimer. Sitemeter tells me I get around 50-100 hits a day on my blog. Since only 3 of you comment that leaves 47-97 lurkers out there. I am perfectly OK with this and this not knowing each other has it's charm (You've Got Mail quote thankyouverymuch). Actually, that has nothing to do with anything, just needed to throw the quote in because it felt like the right timing. That being said, if you are a menfolk lurker I apologize ahead of time for the sensitive nature of this topic but it just needs to be talked about today.

So, yesterday I got my postcard in the mail with the bright, yellow daisy on the front. "It's that time of year again :)"

Gggrrrrrreat. Time to pay a visit to my friendly, neighborhood woman doctor. And so the great yearly debate begins again. Socks or no socks. If you are like me you get dressed to the nines to go see her. No it does not matter that as soon as the nurse leaves you have to put on a purple tissue thingamajig which will inevitably stress you out as to whether the ties go in the front or back. You will get your purple thing on and then the great sock debate will stress you out.

Even if you have resolved your decision beforehand, standing there in the little room with your purple get-up on you will second-guess the decision you labored over for 12 weeks since you received the post card in the mail.

Socks or no socks is your question. If you go the no socks route this is definite protocol for the Pre-OB pedicure. There is no if's and's or but's (no-pun intended). This really needs to be done out of respect for your doctor. Common curtesy. If you are cheap like me and don't want to shell out $20 (or if I got some hooty flooty readers who are to good for the roadside pedi shop, you'll shell out $50), then your best option is going to be Socks On.

Here's where that problem occurs. You dressed up in your black slacks, nice shirt, black trouser socks and black Nine West. Standing here in the little room in your purple get-up the black socks against your really white legs is horrifyingly scary thanks to the fluorescent overhead lighting you forgot to take into consideration.

At this point you are already thinking about the retail therapy you have earned yourself because all this stress is stressing you out to the max and you've got to decide soon and get your little keester up on that table.

All this said, I'm trying to process here in front of God and everyone if Bugs is going to get a pedi this week. After seeing this on paper I think the answer is a strong, resounding, YES! I think a pedi and retail therapy is a small price to pay for good health.


Jennifer said...

Oh my gosh, you are a hoot! And, in my opinion, are putting WAY too much thought into this. After all, she's in there for, what, 60 seconds? (After you've waited 45 minutes... grrr...)

Jenny said...

hahaha... socks for sure but only white socks!

Anonymous said...

Okay Sister. Now you GOTTA think about the overall picture here, Honey.

The size 0 purple MicroMiniTissueTop is made to be worn (now that's funny) alone, other than the half sized tissue sheet she'll tell you to cover your bottom with. Really? You see my bottom? and you see this sheet? and you can use the word 'cover'? and you have a degree in what exactly????

Get that pedi and your shopping thongs on and BE BRAVE!!!

Ban the sox Sweetie. Those toes were born to be wild!!!!

Love Ya and come back with a Great Report!!!


Leslie said...

Good Lord. If I worried about what my FEET looked like each time I have to go to the gyno-roo I'd be broke on pedi's. I say don't wear socks and don't worry. You know she's not really going to be looking at your FEET anyway, right? Just checking?!

Leslie said...

Oh, and if you went to Cornerstone, you'd get a cute little blue sundress with white shoulder ties. SO CUTE I even leave on my pearls!=)

Anonymous said...

As long as our friend, Mrs. R is not your female doc, then I would say you are safe to forgo the socks! She would definitely say wear socks...but she sees some kind of nastiness! ha.
You are laugh out loud funny today. OK, maybe everyday.

Michelle said...

As one who has to perform such exams and such, my vote is definitely socks and if no socks, at least clean feet among other areas! And on behalf of your gyn provider, thank you for even thinking about it! Only the Lord knows what else they have seen that day.

Alison said...

Ok...go with the pedicure. I usually have to make that visit during the months it is appropriate to wear no I am not taking them in there just for that. Isn't it ridiculous that it takes more pampering to get ready for that yearly visit than it does for church??!! ;-)

Momma of two said...

Get a pedi with a bright color for summer and go for it! I just went for my 6wk postpartum. I wore super cute yellow box sandals with a bright pink polish. No Socks!

Kelli Stuart said...

oh my goodness - this post is HI-larious! i know i'm chiming in late, but i have to put my two cents in. now USUALLY this isn't an issue because i go in feb and i dress casually so i'm wearing cute cotton socks. if i happen to be going to the ballet flats that day, i put socks in my purse and put them on when i'm going through the stripping process. you think GUYS ever struggle with this when they turn 40 and go in for their check ups? do they wonder, "should i get a pedi or wear my cute new pink and purple striped socks while the doctor is sticking his finger up my hiney and telling me to cough? (and does any one else find it unfair that guys don't start their "annual exam" until they're 40 when i've been going faithfully every year to endure the stirrups and a bright light shone on my nether regions since i was 20?)