This has been a hard week.
I feel fat. The kids are being whiney and disobedient. Me and the Mr. have been short tempered with each other. My hair is flat as a board. I can't get motivated to shave my legs. I try to pray in the afternoon when the boys go down and immediately my mind is filled with a million thoughts. The house smells funny from dinner last night. I should switch the laundry. I need to call so and so back. You name it, I'm thinking about it.
I think I might know what is going on. Sunday I accepted a position in our Women's Ministry at church. It is called The Heart Whisperer and it is the Prayer Ministry. About two weeks ago Shane and I were talking about my ministry at the church. My main ministry is to serve him so he can be effective with our youth. Apart from that I told him my heart would be to serve with the Women's Ministry.
I kid you not, the very next morning someone approached me at church and asked if I might start coming to some Women's things at the church. Then, about two days later, the head hancho herself emailed me asking to pray about filling this position. It get's better. About 2 or 3 weeks ago we had a big church yard sale. I was up at the church and the baby got fussy so I was wheeling him around in his stroller. We strolled into our library and a book "just happened to catch my eye".
The book was about the Brooklyn Tabernacle and how their church changed as a direct result of starting to pray and ask God for change. Prayer for spiritual awakening has always been important to me. It's hard to gauge where people are just by looking around. But, sometimes I just wander when I look around where we are as a whole. Do the words complacency, comfort, routine, and schedule define where we are? Or do the words surrendered, passionate, fiery, zeal, purpose, and vision define where we are?
What was I talking about? Oh yes, the book. It fueled the fire for my desire to see change in our church. I say our church because that is where I'm plugged in. My sphere of influence to pray over. So, when I was approached to plug into the Prayer Ministry it was a perfect fit that God has been preparing me for. It is already my heart and I just finished that book with real live stories of changed lives as a direct result of prayer.
What does this have to do with un-Texas hair that won't poof to save my life? Maybe I've been under a little fire from the enemy. Who knows. Maybe it is just a couple of bad days. The timing of it all just seems to line up though.
Today I was reading about the opaque veil of the self-life that keeps us from experiencing God in the fullness of all he has to offer us. He rendered the veil torn and yet we have our own veils that keep us at arms length. Year by year we sit contentedly in the outer courts as we grow tired and old. If you want the self made veil ripped it has to be crucified on the cross and that means death. There are two good things about death. At some point the surrender is over and after that the joy comes.
On a different note, I have a surprise for you tommorow I can't wait to tell you about! Enjoy the free car wash today (a.k.a. Rain).