The Clinique Lady proceeds to put on her reading glasses and looked at me for an uncomfortable amount of time. I was like, oh heavens, what is she looking at me like that for? Then she says, "What's with the eyebrows?" The wheels are turning, I'm like, "Uh, I don't know?" I mean, I've been plucking regularly. Is she thinking they look good or bad? Then the horror. She handed me the mirror and showed me how my right brow is like a million miles shorter than my left. What tha???? Did I DO THAT (Steve Erkel Voice)????
I wear make-up every. single. day. You'd think I would've noticed the GREAT DIVIDE. This is what getting 4 people ready every day is doing to me. Don't worry though, I'm now the proud owner of an Eyebrow Pencil. Geesh.
So then she says, "You been wearing black eyeliner since the 7th grade?"
I'm like, "NO, Actually the Clinique Man just sold it to me last year."
"I'm like, I don't know his name."
"I'm really proud Michael would recommend the creme liner, but you need brown. I wear black (she was a black lady) so if I'm wearing black then it is too dark for you dear."
Drama. Pure Drama I tell you. She railed me to pieces. You need to know something though. I've been looking at everyone's brows since The Incident. I can't help it. I've tried to stop but I can't. It must be the remnants of the shock still having effect on me. Next time you see me, if you feel like I'm checking out your brows, you're going to be right. And you can sneak a peak at my fake drawn in job. I won't care.
I can't believe I've turned into a Brow Stalker.