Wednesday night my parents drove the boys and I out to their house for the evening. On the 20 minute drive home, after the first stoplight, I prayed in my heart, "God of Wonders, PLEASE give us all green lights on the way home." For you see, every time the car stopped was not a pleasant experience for me even though did have Phenagren in me (hence the reason my parents were driving me around town). The God of Wonders did not answer my prayer much to my disliking. We wheeled into the driveway and in my heart I prayed, "What is it God? Unconfessed sin, your foreknowledge that I will be eating way to much of my kids candy in the days to come, what?! Nothing is impossible with you, and yet we got a bunch of redlights which is not what I asked for!"
Fast forward to Saturday morning. Shane was at breakfast with some friends, and I was snuggled in bed with two sleeping toddlers who joined me around 5am. As I laid in bed, with one on each side, I was enjoying every single thing about the morning. For over 2 hours, I just laid in bed while they slept, watching them sleep, listening to the thumb sucking and snoring, and praying. It was during that time that God reminded me of something that I had not even acknowledged. On the ride home Wednesday night, we were 18 minutes into the trip, and less than 2 minutes from my house, when we had to stop in the middle of the road to let a deer cross the street. Then another, and another and another. 4 deer! In the city! Deer are so exciting, rare and unexpected, and to see 4 of them was such a special treat!!! God showed me that he did give us red lights, and if he would've given me the green lights I smugly asked for, we would've missed out on a rare treat.
When the opening song at church this morning was God of Wonders, I could hardly sing because I was laughing that he has been the God of Wonders in all sorts of ways to me this week. He has called me, well, more like thrown me into a season of being rid of every single thing I was involved in. A struggle since becoming a wife/mom is what is my ministry? How can I spend my time in a way that is pleasing to you Lord? Leading Bible studies and shepherding women is what I love to do more than anything, the study of God's word with other women is the best thing ever to me. And I have had the joy of doing that the last two years. And now, God has cleared my life of everything and has given me the clear direction/freedom/peace that now is the time he is providing me to just be home with my hubby and babies. And I am so excited! There is a season for everything, and I am excited about this new season, for I know that it was handed to me from God! Jim Elliot said, "Wherever you are, be all there."
Thank you Lord that you don't always give me what I ask you for, please enable me to live in confidence that you are guiding me. Your word says in Isaiah 30 that my strength comes from quietness and trust in you. Your goodness is not based on my present circumstances, you are good because you are good. Thank you for restoration, a husband who loves me, kids who tickle me with the things they say and do, chocolate, and for always having a far better way than I could've picked for myself.