My question has changed.
For years, my main question has been, "What is the best way to train these boys? To discipline them so they will choose to do right."
We are on Week 2 of our Ministry Of Motherhood study. You know what the biggest thing I took away from our discussion last night was?
My children are not perfect. And, they are never going to be. It was a good reminder for my perfectionist self. Grace can be extended in love.
It is so easy to get in training mode. The pattern where most of the words that come out of our mouths are correcting, rebuking and training. How about speaking encouraging words for a change? It is surprising how speaking nice words can turn the atmosphere around.
It keeps blowing me away to look at the life of Jesus. So many times, when he could have slammed his fist down, ruling with a hard hand, he doesn't. He chooses the way of Grace. Extending kindness to one who does not deserve it. No payback. No fist pounding.
The gift of grace. I wandered when parenting took such a sharp turn towards harshness. I see it in my own life. Just a couple of days ago, my 4 year old grabbed my leg while I was holding a cup of
"Words are powerful; the Bible is full of that message. The whole universe came into being because God spoke the words." pg 41, Ministry of Motherhood
I have a new question I am asking.
How can I love these boys well?
And because if one question is good, a handful are better, here's what else I am pondering.
How can I extend a motherly touch that will bless them?
Will I be willing to be available to talk with them? The temptation is to feel like all the Lego and Spy Gear chatter is meaningless. If I choose to believe that I am a fool.
After spending a week looking at the example of Grace found in Jesus, one thing is certain. If I am going to model Jesus' example it will mean I extend kindness to those who do not deserve it, and I will love them and serve them.
3 comments:
Great post! I am guilty of this, too. That is something I pray often--for God to help me give grace to my kids. I read a neat blog post the other day about the importance of moms giving themselves grace, too.
Excellent questions. I pray that one day I will no longer have those knee-jerk reactions. They are not glorifying to God and only teach my children to do the same thing.
Learning to love unconditionally I think is the key. Also, showing them that the path of repentence leads them to the Father - by example.
Understanding that they are just learning - new learning is awkward and sometimes it's a lifetime of awkward because we never stop learning!
I love your heart! Moms of boys are certainly special!
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