I have just put myself in a Mommy time out. Is it really wise to be posting about it in the heat? Probably not. So, it can just be so frustrating, teaching the kids. Today started out good. Sun shining, laundry going, Wal-Mart list planned, learning our first catechism, etc etc etc...it was going good. Till the wheels starting falling off the bus.
Till the phonics lesson started getting frustrating. Till I lost my temper because I want to see a little effort and not such an easy bent toward giving up. I set the timer for a 5 minute break then I went and turned it off because maybe I just need more than 5 minutes to simmer down.
Then I log into the computer to get the math lesson geared up. My computer asks me a ridiculous question.
What would happen if you lost your Google account tomorrow?
Really? Nothing. Nothing would happen if I lost my Google account tomorrow and no I'm not giving you internet people on the pop up screen my phone number. I might even gain a little more freedom because something was just erased from my "have to" list.
And then there's the issue I am dealing with of processing through what God wants from me. This weekend me, along with 13 other women from church, college age to the mini-van drivers with hips, attended an amazing conference together. It was good, the older and younger teaming up.
Not just good, but challenging. I heard some passionate women speak about their love for God and people.
I got some great ideas. Like having an extended quiet time. 2 hours or more. I was filled and challenged and on the ride home I was overwhelmed. Why? Because as my friend Sandra pinned it, Satan tried to swoop in to steal, kill and destroy the truth I had taken in. Tried to make me feel guilt and failure. Tried to link bad words like bondage and legalism to the truth God had spoken. But we saw it for what it was. And I will not allow the Enemy to take away from me truth God freshly planted inside me.
I know the freedom of living a life of Joy in the Lord. I know Grace. My life knows Faith. And right now, in my Mommy Time Out, I know new beginnings. Fresh starts. I know that a spirit of judgement and criticism is my red flag that I am in sin. It's not who I am, nor who I am called to be.
This morning my Scripture reading from Ex 3 reminded me that God came to a vision in Moses while he was tending his everyday work. While he was out tending sheep in the pasture, living the everyday, God came to speak life and truth into his life.
My Mommy Time Out is about to be over. I'm going to start Math lessons, read about George Washington, take a trip to Wal-Mart to get Cascade, have another conversation with the boys about why we are not spending money on Halloween costumes, we'll re-heat left-overs for lunch, and I'll finish up the laundry, and my day will not be ruined. It won't be ruined because we had a bad 5 minutes. It won't be ruined because my Google account might not be here tomorrow and it won't be ruined because your life and mine look different.
Today is the everyday and it is good.