Twenty Minutes

I've given myself twenty minutes before we meet at the table to start school.  Have I been grumbling on my blog lately?  It feels like I have.  There's that fine line between being transparent and sounding like a complainer.

There is so much I want to talk about.  I want to be real and as honest as can be.  But I don't want to sound like a grumbler or ungrateful.  It is hard to know how sharing your heart in print is received by those who read it.

It feels like the wheels have completely fallen off our bus though.  I am so out of kilter.  I am longing for order, routine and schedule.  If you know me you know I'm a flexible routined person.  There is so much peace in knowing the order of the day. 

But right now there is no order.  We are in survival mode.  We are just trying to get the necessity done and get by.  Today is the 8th day of fever, snotty noses and coughs.  It started the first of January and has been one round after another.  Fevers, pneumonia, stomach bug, strep, more fevers and colds.  We've been home and it has been one of the sweetest, lonely, good, hard, dark, happy times I've known.  We've loved the quiet time to snuggle in and read and we've missed the light of other people and being out in the real world.  It's been a love hate thing.

I don't know how people go through the hard times without the provision of the Lord.  He has completely and utterly spoiled us this week and over and over said, "I see you and you are not forgotten."

Two people have brought us dinners.  One friend knocked on my door with a plate of scones fresh from the oven, a card and CD, another friend mailed me a calender.  Shane arranged a friend to drive an hour to come visit me yesterday.  He gave us three hours and coffee and lunch money to go out and enjoy.  She bought us both candles to serve as a remembrance of God's faithfulness and goodness.  Last night we had a knock on the door.  Another friend bringing the biggest care package I've ever seen filled with movies, popsicle's, medicine.

Last night I cried at the lavish provision of God who sees us.  Then I started hollering and jumping around for joy telling the boys how stinkin' good God is.  I mean He is just utterly, flat out, over the top good.  Monday morning I got up and I was resolved.  I told Shane that even if the next 8 weeks are filled with fevers and coughs and we're home bound I will rejoice.

This week I have seen the hands and feet of Jesus.  I have seen how a casserole and baked treat can make someone feel like they are the most special person in His eyes that ever lived.  My eyes are opened.  I am wandering who around me needs my hands and feet.

(and by the way, as I live and breathe I just got a text from another friend telling  me we have been on her heart and that she is praying for us and wants to know if we like lasagna...I just cannot get over the kind of people the Lord has put in our life.  Family and friends who reflect His heart so deeply and who show us who He is through their prayers, love and support.  The way the church has rallied around us in a hard time has left me completely and utterly overwhelmed at His goodness.)